On Confidence-Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Growing up in the country was such a blessing and driving force in my life, that I knew I wanted to raise my Wildflowers the same way.  However, the memories of running down dirt roads, tire swings on Live Oaks, and catching turtles in the creek provide little when it comes to actually owning and living on a ranch.  Moving back to the country after living my early adult life in various cities and countries has provided an array of challenges, not the least of which is the nagging question, “Can I do this?!” A lack of self confidence is something I’ve found that many of us struggle with, but by venturing out of my comfort zone, I am finding ways to get around it.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by incredibly strong and confident women throughout my life, both personally and professionally. Like many of us, I have had a handful of women who continually impress me with their intellect, grace, and you guessed it, confidence.  Frankly they make me feel like a lazy bum when I start the poisonous comparison of their accomplishments to my own. I’ve often picked the brains of these successful women, whether they are shattering glass ceilings in the business world, or juggling mama-hood in “Pinterest Perfect” homes. These super-women have all shared with me a common piece of advice –  “fake it ’til you make it!”

Faking their confidence until they actually feel it, is how these ladies get by in their day to day. Each of us has heard that tiny insecure voice inside our head questioning our competence and holding us back.  The strongest mentors in my life have simply told that debilitating mean girl (a.k.a. Fear) to get back in the box where she belongs. For me, it was shocking to hear from such accomplished women, that each of them has also had the voice of fear and self doubt screaming at them from time to time.

When it came to buying a ranch, I knew what I wanted to do. I knew it would be hard work and that if I let myself stop to think about it, I could become overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy.  But after years of hearing the same advice, I knew I needed to acknowledge this fear, make peace with her, and move onward and upward. I believe there comes a point in our lives where we can either sit around and watch the world and our dreams pass us by, or we can put our big girl boots on, and get after it! Whatever ‘it’ may be.

I am slowly learning that if you seek out the doubt, you will find it. You will always find someone that is willing to agree that your dreams are too far fetched and can’t work.  In the past, hearing someone validate that my dreams are too ‘silly’ or ‘involve too much risk’ used to have me bailing on them in a matter of moments. If you are like me, it is time to stop listening to the doubters and actually believe in ourselves and the dreams we long for.  By doing this, you’ll give yourself the space to ignite these passions and allow them to grow from the spark of “what if” to the fire of “I am doing this!” Until that spark takes off, just keep fanning the flame and fake it until you make it.

Fear can help keep us from getting hurt, but we shouldn’t allow it to prevent us from chasing our dreams. No one is going to know how scared you are unless you tell them! So, I encourage all of us, myself included, to find that spark in your heart for whatever you are passionate about and get after it! Go be that #girlboss!